Pieces of the Planning Puzzle

by Lauri Boyden

You have announced to family and friends that you are engaged! Everyone is excited for you both and has so much information to share with you about planning your wedding.

Don’t get married in June – there are too many black flies; August are the dog days of summer – much too hot; we are planning a trip for October say your parents; wouldn’t a lovely day in July be nice? But I think your cousin was thinking of July, perhaps May, dear. Be sure to spend time with just the two of you to make the plans that mean the most to you both. You can take all of those family and friends ideas into consideration; perhaps they have some fairly good thoughts or perhaps they blend nicely with your own.

Most of us have had a vision of our wedding day since we were five and chasing after the little boy next door or since we attended or were in a wedding where we either saw things we loved or vowed never to have at our own wedding!

However you view your wedding day, begin your planning together with thoughts of you and your family and guests. Do you have a large family filled with nieces and nephews? Have you worked in the same job for many years and want to invite most of the firm?

The main basis of your guest list will aid you in your first step – choosing a location for your wedding ceremony and reception.

Ask yourself – will there be many children present, will they be at the ceremony as well as the reception, will they stay for the meal, are their parents a part of the bridal party, etc. With a broad view of your guest list, you should easily be able to envision your celebration in the locations you visit, the menus you look at, and the general flow of your event. Yes, you are planning an event – the biggest one in your life, for the moment!

Click here to read more about "Pieces of the Planning Puzzle"...

Lauri Boyden is the owner and event coordinator for the Barn at Boyden Farm; Cambridge, VT.

“Parents in the Planning”

by Michael Caldwell, Partnership Center of Vermont

Tom and Carolyn’s parents fit the bill for “best in the universe” – until the engagement. They’d dated for years. They knew and liked each other’s parents. And both sets of parents seemed to genuinely like the fact that they were together. So they felt blind-sided by the difficulties after they announced their engagement.

Carolyn’s dad was a great guy in a lot of ways, and extended himself to Tom in a way that made him feel included in the family. But Carolyn was his only daughter. He wanted to walk her down the aisle and “give her away” in the traditional way at the wedding, which is when tensions surfaced.

In college, Carolyn’s consciousness was unalterably raised by feminist teachers. She loved her father. But she saw the traditional beginning to a wedding as tied to a time when women were property to be transferred. She knew her father didn’t see her as property, but she thought the ritual was archaic. In consultation with Tom and the wedding coach, the decision was made to walk the processional together as a couple, with the wedding party preceding them – mirroring the recessional. It was different, and they liked the difference it made, and the independence it implied.

When Carolyn’s dad balked, they talked to the wedding coach. He suggested a new custom, now seen in many contemporary ceremonies, to be intentionally inclusive of all the parents. After the declaration of intent and before the vows would come “Pledges of Support.” In this moment, the officiant asks a question.

“Will the parents of the bride and groom please stand… Will you give your love, support, encouragement, and blessing to them as they are married today? If so, please say “we will.” “We will!”

Tom was especially interested in this variation because it meant his parents could participate as well in such an affirmation. It also meant, since his parents were both divorced and remarried, that his step-parents could be included as well.

Click here to read further about the relationship coach's suggestions, and Tom and Carolyn's handling of the question and how it impacted their future together...

Princess Victoria and Prince Frederick's 1858 Wedding Pictures

The winter edition of Vermont Bride Magazine, currently available free of charge throughout Vermont, features Lisa Carlson's article "Mendelssohn's Wedding March: A Brief History." Here are a few pictures of the 1858 wedding of Princess Victoria and Prince Frederick, the wedding which set the long standing precedent of using Mendelssohn's "Wedding March" as a their recessional. These pictures have been provided courtesy of Angel B, who maintains a web site at www.avictorian.com, having spent years collecting pictures from this era - do check out Angel's web site for additional pictures!

Fall Issue 2010 Now Online

FREE ONLINE: You can read articles from the Vermont Bride Fall 2010 issue now online.

Or download the entire magazine in PDF format (18.7 MB).

Download only the Bridal Resource Guide section (PDF 2.3 MB)

116 pages; 33 articles; 250+ vendor listings

Reviving Old Traditions for Festive Modern Day Celebrations

by Amanda Kuhnert

There are some traditions, like exchanging rings and throwing the bridal bouquet, that remain central to the wedding ceremony.

But there are other customs that have been tossed to the wayside by a generation or two of brides and grooms.
Make your 21st century celebration stand out from the crowd by incorporating these ancient traditions into your wedding plans:

Make it a full moon – in June!

There is an old belief that getting married on the day of a full moon will bring you good luck − and hopefully, aid in conception efforts. And, historically, June was a particularly good month to “tie the knot,” as a fall pregnancy and spring birth wouldn’t interfere with the bride’s ability to assist with the harvest. Also, a bright, sunny wedding day was said to bring good fortune to the couple, while a rainy day guaranteed a short, rather unsatisfactory marriage. Although June continues to be a popular month for weddings, it’s probably safe to say that the reasons have changed.

Click here for more ideas for reviving old traditions, including: Have fun with superstitions, Carry a bride’s handkerchief, Wear a veil, Tie shoes (and cans) to “the getaway car”, Wear two garters − one to keep and one to toss, and Carry her over the threshold...

Or Click here for more information about Amanda Kuhnhert and Fourfold Legacy Services, preserving memories of Vermont's wedding couples.

Lisa & Eric's Love Story

Lisa (Weiner) & Eric Larner, September 7th 2008, at the Equinox Resort & Spa, Manchester Village, VT

Photographs by Polis Photography

How We Met:

Our love story begins a very long time ago. We were both at college at the University of Hartford. He was a senior on his way out of school, and I was a freshman just beginning my college experience. We met and new right from the beginning that we had a connection with one another. We started spending time with each other and a wonderful bond started to form. It was hard knowing that he was going to be leaving school to start his life, just as I had started my college years.

Inevitably, his graduation day came, and we were no longer just a short walk away from each other on campus. We did the long distance relationship for a while, but as time went on our calls got fewer and fewer, and so did our visits with each other. The funny thing is, we never broke up, we just allowed our relationship to fade away. Even with out him in my life, I would always think about him and wonder how he was. I never reached out to him because I was always too afraid to call, for so much time had passed between us.

About a year and a half later I finally decided to contact him through the mail. Much to my surprise, and excitement, he called me. That first call was amazing. We were so happy to hear each others voices and the conversation flowed like it had never been interrupted.

Click here to read the rest of Lisa and Eric's Love Story...